As a new momma I've realized that I've become research/Google/baby app obsessed. From forums to blogs to articles and emails from babycenter and what to expect.com, us new moms are constantly, 200% baby-is-all-we-know minded. Everything we choose to read has to do with our babies. Everything I Google has to do with Harper: Is this whole-feeding spit up normal? Why does my little girl burp like a grown man? Do all babies fart this much?! Her foot just turned purple for like a split second - what does that mean?! And on and on and on. Every forum entry is about feeding, pooping, crying, and sleeping, etc. Seriously. We obsess.
It's rare to come across how to care for yourself as a new mom, let alone think about your own needs - mentally and emotionally. Not just the postpartum physical care aspect. That is kind of mandatory and almost mindless, whereas "me time" seems like a distant memory.
SO. I decided to write this to share with and hopefully remind other mommas that we are still important and need to love ourselves too. I am obviously still working on this whole self-care thing since 1) I honestly just rediscovered it and realized I was practically neglecting myself and 2) Harper is only 4 weeks old right now so there's a lot of learning to be done. But if I dig deep enough and lay this out in writing, maybe I'll follow my own advice. After all, happy momma = happy baby and happy husband!
Get dolled up.
While your baby is sleeping or being entertained by her swing or whatever it is that is capable of keeping her content without her being attached to you for 15 minutes, take a shower! Use some citrusy and amazing smelling body wash and breathe it in. It's ridiculously refreshing and energizing. Once you're shower is done and baby is content sleeping or strapped to you in a sling, put on a full face of makeup, blow dry and style your hair and just get yourself done up and ditch the sweats! It doesn't matter if you're going anywhere or if anybody is going to see you. It's purely for your own confidence and mood. You will feel so.much.better. Plus your hubby will appreciate it too.
Send Baby and Daddy on an Outing
This isn't something that needs to be done within the first few days or even weeks but let me tell you, Adam took Harper out for an hour or two one morning when she hit her one month birthday and the uninterrupted sleep I got was heaven!! There's also the bonus that while I got my much needed sleep, Adam got to bond with his daughter and he loves that.
Cuddle Your Baby Daddy
Before you even have your baby you're told over and over that skin-to-skin contact with her is so imperative for bonding. The same goes for your relationship with your husband. Once the baby is here, you have a whole new human to give all of your attention and affection to, meanwhile your poor hubby is left out and missing you. I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty hard to keep that attention balanced. This post isn't all about your hubby though. Not only is it good for him to get some of your love, but it's healthy for you too. At night when all you want to do is lay down and pass out because you finally got your fussy angel to sleep, remind yourself to get close to your husband. Ask him to be your big spoon. You'll be so happy you did because it is one of the most comforting feelings there is. :)
Before you even have your baby you're told over and over that skin-to-skin contact with her is so imperative for bonding. The same goes for your relationship with your husband. Once the baby is here, you have a whole new human to give all of your attention and affection to, meanwhile your poor hubby is left out and missing you. I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty hard to keep that attention balanced. This post isn't all about your hubby though. Not only is it good for him to get some of your love, but it's healthy for you too. At night when all you want to do is lay down and pass out because you finally got your fussy angel to sleep, remind yourself to get close to your husband. Ask him to be your big spoon. You'll be so happy you did because it is one of the most comforting feelings there is. :)
Bubble Bath
This one is obvious. One morning or night when your hubby is home, give baby to him or call a friend/sibling/parent over to watch her and draw up a bubble bath. Light some candles, turn off the lights, and throw in some lavender or eucalyptus. Seriously. Don't think about the baby or any other thing. Just soak it all up. Literally. RELAX.
This one is obvious. One morning or night when your hubby is home, give baby to him or call a friend/sibling/parent over to watch her and draw up a bubble bath. Light some candles, turn off the lights, and throw in some lavender or eucalyptus. Seriously. Don't think about the baby or any other thing. Just soak it all up. Literally. RELAX.
Force Yourself Out
This is one of the ones everybody tells you to do. Take their advice. I absolutely did not want to leave the first time Adam forced me out. And all I did was run to the liquor store for some wine but it felt so good to drive again with the music up and windows down by myself.
This is one of the ones everybody tells you to do. Take their advice. I absolutely did not want to leave the first time Adam forced me out. And all I did was run to the liquor store for some wine but it felt so good to drive again with the music up and windows down by myself.
Being Supermom Comes Later
Call your own mom for a break. This doesn't make you a bad mom, it makes you human. Honestly, it took me 4+ weeks to swallow my pride and ask for some help. What I asked for help with was an hour or so to get in a shower. Yes, I scheduled shower time. I called Adam's mom and asked if she would come over the next day to watch Harper so that I could take a worry-free (almost) shower and get ready for the day. It's okay to ask for help, and sometimes you have to remind yourself of that. Don't try to do everything on your own. It took me a few weeks of skipping breakfast and staying in my bedroom all day long before realizing I could ask somebody to come over to watch Harper and rock her to sleep while I grab food for once. There's nothing wrong with that.
Call your own mom for a break. This doesn't make you a bad mom, it makes you human. Honestly, it took me 4+ weeks to swallow my pride and ask for some help. What I asked for help with was an hour or so to get in a shower. Yes, I scheduled shower time. I called Adam's mom and asked if she would come over the next day to watch Harper so that I could take a worry-free (almost) shower and get ready for the day. It's okay to ask for help, and sometimes you have to remind yourself of that. Don't try to do everything on your own. It took me a few weeks of skipping breakfast and staying in my bedroom all day long before realizing I could ask somebody to come over to watch Harper and rock her to sleep while I grab food for once. There's nothing wrong with that.
Pamper Yourself
Go get your hair done, get a pedicure, schedule a massage! Whatever it is, do it. You can hold baby while getting your hair or nails done or just have hubby watch her for the couple of hours. It will be more relaxing without baby but I know how the separation anxiety is so either works. Just do something special to yourself.
Girls Night
Girls Night
Adam was told ahead of time how important it is to get the new momma to go out and spend time with her girlfriends to make her feel like herself again so he has been all for getting me together with my girls. One of my best friends, and part of the blondetourage, set up a girls night at my house this past weekend that was fall themed. We made homemade Chicken Butternut Squash Stew in bread bowls, baked apples, drank really yummy wine (I pumped ahead of time), and carved pumpkins. I couldn't have asked for a better way to relax and warm up.
Harper Minion done by Adam a couple nights after girls night :)
Hide Your Pre-pregnancy clothes
Yes even your shirts. After you have a baby, your body takes quite a while to go back to normal and it is the weirdest shape ever. Even your maternity shirts don't look good on your stretched out body. Some women are able to get their pre-pregnancy jeans back on right away but that's definitely not my case. Every single thing I own still looks weird on this body! Baggy is best at this stage. So hide everything else. It made me feel better at least. ha
6 Days Postpartum (crazy how you still look pregnant huh?!) and 4 weeks + 1 day postpartum
Trust me, you won't want anything tight fitting for a whiiiiile.
Remember the Little Things
Go outside. Watch the sunset. Drink tea. During pregnancy those hormonal cravings constantly reminded me to treat myself. Whether it was ice cream, Starbucks, a song (I was completely obsessed with "Love" by Jana Kramer), or even just making a comfort food for dinner at home - those little things made me so happy. After Harper was born I completely forgot about the little things until the other day. Today, while Harper took a 15 minute nap - who by the way is on a nursing and sleeping-during-the-day strike - I got to spoil myself for a quick minute by making my favorite kind of coffee, getting some tasty breakfast even though it wasn't donuts like I really wanted ;) (at 2pm - it was the first time I was able to leave our bedroom after a long morning of Harper crying and not sleeping) and pouring myself a little lunch-time cocktail.
Wine. That is all.
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