New Mommy Self-Care

As a new momma I've realized that I've become research/Google/baby app obsessed. From forums to blogs to articles and emails from babycenter and what to expect.com, us new moms are constantly, 200% baby-is-all-we-know minded. Everything we choose to read has to do with our babies. Everything I Google has to do with Harper: Is this whole-feeding spit up normal? Why does my little girl burp like a grown man? Do all babies fart this much?! Her foot just turned purple for like a split second - what does that mean?! And on and on and on. Every forum entry is about feeding, pooping, crying, and sleeping, etc. Seriously. We obsess. 

It's rare to come across how to care for yourself as a new mom, let alone think about your own needs - mentally and emotionally. Not just the postpartum physical care aspect. That is kind of mandatory and almost mindless, whereas "me time" seems like a distant memory. 

SO. I decided to write this to share with and hopefully remind other mommas that we are still important and need to love ourselves too. I am obviously still working on this whole self-care thing since 1) I honestly just rediscovered it and realized I was practically neglecting myself and 2) Harper is only 4 weeks old right now so there's a lot of learning to be done. But if I dig deep enough and lay this out in writing, maybe I'll follow my own advice. After all, happy momma = happy baby and happy husband! 

Get dolled up.

While your baby is sleeping or being entertained by her swing or whatever it is that is capable of keeping her content without her being attached to you for 15 minutes, take a shower! Use some citrusy and amazing smelling body wash and breathe it in. It's ridiculously refreshing and energizing. Once you're shower is done and baby is content sleeping or strapped to you in a sling, put on a full face of makeup, blow dry and style your hair and just get yourself done up and ditch the sweats! It doesn't matter if you're going anywhere or if anybody is going to see you. It's purely for your own confidence and mood. You will feel so.much.better. Plus your hubby will appreciate it too.

Send Baby and Daddy on an Outing

This isn't something that needs to be done within the first few days or even weeks but let me tell you, Adam took Harper out for an hour or two one morning when she hit her one month birthday and the uninterrupted sleep I got was heaven!! There's also the bonus that while I got my much needed sleep, Adam got to bond with his daughter and he loves that.

Cuddle Your Baby Daddy
Before you even have your baby you're told over and over that skin-to-skin contact with her is so imperative for bonding. The same goes for your relationship with your husband. Once the baby is here, you have a whole new human to give all of your attention and affection to, meanwhile your poor hubby is left out and missing you. I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty hard to keep that attention balanced. This post isn't all about your hubby though. Not only is it good for him to get some of your love, but it's healthy for you too. At night when all you want to do is lay down and pass out because you finally got your fussy angel to sleep, remind yourself to get close to your husband. Ask him to be your big spoon. You'll be so happy you did because it is one of the most comforting feelings there is. :)

Bubble Bath
This one is obvious. One morning or night when your hubby is home, give baby to him or call a friend/sibling/parent over to watch her and draw up a bubble bath. Light some candles, turn off the lights, and throw in some lavender or eucalyptus. Seriously. Don't think about the baby or any other thing. Just soak it all up. Literally. RELAX.
 

Force Yourself Out
This is one of the ones everybody tells you to do. Take their advice. I absolutely did not want to leave the first time Adam forced me out. And all I did was run to the liquor store for some wine but it felt so good to drive again with the music up and windows down by myself. 

Being Supermom Comes Later
Call your own mom for a break. This doesn't make you a bad mom, it makes you human. Honestly, it took me 4+ weeks to swallow my pride and ask for some help. What I asked for help with was an hour or so to get in a shower. Yes, I scheduled shower time. I called Adam's mom and asked if she would come over the next day to watch Harper so that I could take a worry-free (almost) shower and get ready for the day. It's okay to ask for help, and sometimes you have to remind yourself of that. Don't try to do everything on your own. It took me a few weeks of skipping breakfast and staying in my bedroom all day long before realizing I could ask somebody to come over to watch Harper and rock her to sleep while I grab food for once. There's nothing wrong with that.

Pamper Yourself

Go get your hair done, get a pedicure, schedule a massage! Whatever it is, do it. You can hold baby while getting your hair or nails done or just have hubby watch her for the couple of hours. It will be more relaxing without baby but I know how the separation anxiety is so either works. Just do something special to yourself.

Girls Night

Adam was told ahead of time how important it is to get the new momma to go out and spend time with her girlfriends to make her feel like herself again so he has been all for getting me together with my girls. One of my best friends, and part of the blondetourage, set up a girls night at my house this past weekend that was fall themed. We made homemade Chicken Butternut Squash Stew in bread bowls, baked apples, drank really yummy wine (I pumped ahead of time), and carved pumpkins. I couldn't have asked for a better way to relax and warm up.

 

Harper Minion done by Adam a couple nights after girls night :)

Hide Your Pre-pregnancy clothes

Yes even your shirts. After you have a baby, your body takes quite a while to go back to normal and it is the weirdest shape ever. Even your maternity shirts don't look good on your stretched out body. Some women are able to get their pre-pregnancy jeans back on right away but that's definitely not my case. Every single thing I own still looks weird on this body! Baggy is best at this stage. So hide everything else. It made me feel better at least. ha 

 

6 Days Postpartum (crazy how you still look pregnant huh?!) and 4 weeks + 1 day postpartum

Trust me, you won't want anything tight fitting for a whiiiiile.

Remember the Little Things

Go outside. Watch the sunset. Drink tea. During pregnancy those hormonal cravings constantly reminded me to treat myself. Whether it was ice cream, Starbucks, a song (I was completely obsessed with "Love" by Jana Kramer), or even just making a comfort food for dinner at home - those little things made me so happy. After Harper was born I completely forgot about the little things until the other day. Today, while Harper took a 15 minute nap - who by the way is on a nursing and sleeping-during-the-day strike - I got to spoil myself for a quick minute by making my favorite kind of coffee, getting some tasty breakfast even though it wasn't donuts like I really wanted ;) (at 2pm - it was the first time I was able to leave our bedroom after a long morning of Harper crying and not sleeping) and pouring myself a little lunch-time cocktail.

Wine. That is all.

Blogging with Baby

Life at home with our little pumpkin isn't too much different but my hands are never empty.

I couldn't be happier that our little Harper was a Fall baby since it is mine and Adam's favorite season.

The first two weeks were tough with a new baby and all of the crazy hormones but we've mostly figured things out at just over 3 weeks and I have to say...the amount of love that fills our home is infinite. 

I mean, everyone says they love the father of their baby more after birth but this abundance of love I feel even more for Adam is unreal. 

I really am the luckiest woman in the world. 

Most days, Adam goes to work around 8 or 9am and Harper and I try to catch up on our sleep since she wakes up every 2-3 hours at night. That's if she's not wanting to cluster feed - which is often. And in that case, she wakes up about every 10 minutes it feels like. On top of that, because Harper is such a gassy baby which means she seems to be in pain pretty often, I'm attempting to cut out caffeine (along with chocolate and a little dairy) from my diet. That means no sleep and no morning or nighttime coffee.

Lately, I've been finding a way to sip on a cup of tea in the morning and am always hopeful that I get in some me time or strap Harper to my chest with a baby carrier so that I can get a few things done around the house. Even if that means just a shower.

So blogging with a baby hasn't turned out to be all that easy considering I'm lucky to get that shower in most days, however, during the quiet nights where I've had a nap during the day and don't feel like an old lady come 7pm, I pour myself some wine and bring my laptop to bed.

It really is the best time of the year to get in touch with creativity. I can't get over how much I love fall and the chilly weather!

Here are just a few pictures from the past week or so:

 

Wine & Night time blogging in bed with our sweet girl <3

 

 

Endless Cuddles

Harper Eve Gutierrez's Birth Story

Harper was due Sunday, September 7th, 2014

Once that day came and went with little to no signs of her arrival, I became somewhat discouraged. 

I mean, I knew she was coming within that week or two but I was over all of the waiting that came with pregnancy, like any mama-to-be is at 40 weeks! 

It seemed like everyone around me that was pregnant and due about the same time - or within a few weeks of me - was already having their babies and I was the last one left.

Since I had an appointment scheduled on Monday, September 8th as my 40 week checkup, I convinced myself that I would get a membrane sweep like I had done the week before when I was 1 cm dilated and 25% effaced with baby's head at station -2. I thought that getting a second sweep would for sure send me into labor at least by that night, so I was hopeful.

I woke up that morning not having gone into labor the night of my due date, obviously, but I was so excited for my doctor appointment that I actually showered and got all the way ready (which is a lot of work when you're that pregnant).

I called Adam and had him meet me at the doctor's office. I was starving so I picked up a BLT and hot fudge sundae with the thought in the back of my mind that it could possibly be my last meal before labor...since you can't eat during labor once you're admitted to the hospital.

Here's a little TMI, but this is a birth story so it's pretty unavoidable ha. During my appointment, I asked the nurse practitioner (NP) what the chances actually were for pregnant women to well...pee themselves because I could have sworn something was going on in that department the morning before when I went to the bathroom except I couldn't tell if that's what had happened to me or if it was maybe my water leaking extremely slowly. However, she told me it was likely that it was not my water and that because of the baby and weight on my bladder that I peed myself a little. I couldn't accept that since I felt like I was way too in tune with my own body to not realize it if I'd done that. I just brushed it off.

Next, the NP checked me then said that she couldn't even feel my cervix because "it was too high up and facing the opposite way." Because of this, she informed me that she wouldn't be able to do a membrane sweep. I wanted to cry right there in her office. My heart was so set on that being the trick to bringing on this baby. When she got done and left me to get dressed, it looked like I had totally wet the table and since I just had that conversation with her I assumed I had since she checked me and maybe pushed on my bladder. I thought nothing of it...

When I said goodbye to Adam, he asked me over and over if I was okay, I told him I was fine but discouraged because I was over being pregnant - even though I had a pretty easy pregnancy. I was just way too ready to meet our sweet baby girl! I got in my car, let my hormones take over, and just cried my eyes out. I have no idea why exactly because I was still having a baby this week or next no matter what. I guess I had a fear of being induced or having to wait even longer than the last 40 weeks. Especially since the other women that surrounded me had their babies during weeks 36, 37 or 39. And here I was over 40 weeks, even if it was just by 1 day. I texted my sisters and told them both what was going on and how crushed I felt. Then I headed over to Julie's (Adam's momma) for some TLC via wine (only 1 glass for pregnant me), chocolate, and girl time with her, Gramma Sue, and my sister, Megan.

After they all cheered me up, Megan and I went to my house and continued our girl time, meanwhile Adam cooked a delicious dinner - my favorite kind of noodles and a cheddar brat. He's so good to me. Mitch came over so him and Adam drank wine and we all just hung out and talked. I was getting some pressure type of pains where the baby's head sits in the pelvis - which I learned from "What To Expect" is referred to as "lightning crotch." I should add that by week 37 and on or so I became an avid yoga ball bouncer since I heard it helps the baby drop so I was bouncing on this yoga ball then decided to do this yoga type move that my cousin had shared with me - it's basically child's pose but you put your butt in the air then go back down to encourage the baby to move her head. I was doing it purely for comfort this time around just to get those lightning pains to minimize. I had tried it a week before after hearing it could potentially break my waters and after doing it for 30 minutes straight with no waters breaking then I decided it was another hoax. However, I did this little move about 3 times that night rotating between that and the yoga ball. The third time I sat..or maybe stood up and felt a little gush.

Since the doctor just told me that day that I was most likely peeing myself before, I assumed that's all that was going on again. But then it happened again and I was really paying attention. I knew I was definitely not peeing myself! As embarrassing as that was, I eventually filled Adam in on what was going on. He prompted me to call the nurse's hotline, who you'd think were my best friends by then since I called so often. By then I had gone through two changes of clothes. The nurse said because I had this leaking, though small, I also showed other little symptoms so I should go into Labor & Delivery at Good Samaritan Hospital. Oh. my. gosh. I wasn't expecting that at all. I was trembling from being so excited/nervous/anxious. I ended up driving me and Adam since he was drinking wine with my brother. I already had my hospital bag packed and in my trunk since about week 37 or so. At this time, my contractions still felt like Braxton Hicks just barely stronger and I think I only had 1 or 2 during the drive there.

We got to Labor & Delivery at midnight exactly and calmly checked in. We didn't even know if I was in true labor or not and we waited about 20 minutes or so to be examined. Once my name was called, Adam and I were taken three floors up to a delivery room (crazy) where they had me change into a hospital gown. Coming out of the bathroom, I leaked a little more on the floor and Adam made some joke about it to the nurse who then said that if I was leaking on the floor, even the small amount that it was then it was most likely fluid! She had me lay down on the hospital bed and performed some type of check to tell if it was urine or amniotic fluid. Within about 2 minutes she said it was definitely amniotic fluid and that because I was leaking I had to be admitted! WE WERE IN LABOR! I was ecstatic. They said they would give me 6 hours to let my body go into labor and contract on its own before giving me any induction medicine. Which is routine when a woman's water breaks to prevent infection. I didn't sleep all night.

My body started contracting pretty strong but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle...yet. I had the bloody show sometime in the night but my contractions didn't get strong/regular enough on their own and by 6am I was still only at 1.5 cm dilated. Because my body was progressing at least a little on its own, they didn't have to induce me but instead did "labor augmentation." The nurse started me on cytotec orally to ripen my cervix and by 10am I was progressing enough to not need another dose. I think I was only 2 or 3 cm dilated at this point but the nurse said it was good enough to start pitocin through my IV. I got the epidural at 3 cm dilated when the contractions got so strong I was on the verge of tears and walking made them worse. Most hospitals don't allow you to get an epidural until a certain point but I was able to get mine early and was sooo thankful they let me! It was heaven. Pure bliss. Adam said I was smiling so big during the process of getting the epidural. The nurse(s) continued to check on me every 2 or so hours and the details from there on are a little blurry. I know I got another dose of pitocin, my contractions became closer and closer, each time the nurses checked me I had dilated a little more, and I had visitors in and out of my room like crazy. In the middle of laboring and resting, my water completely broke all over the hospital bed. The biggest thing I remember that was honestly, to me, the worst part of labor: starving. I was ridiculously hungry. I couldn't stand it. I snuck a few gummy worms and reese's mini cups that my mom had brought but mainly I lived on ice chips that whole time. It sucked.

By 6 or 7 pm when the nurse checked me, I was completely dilated and ready to go! I had gone in and out of fever and dropped blood pressure all day but the nurses regulated it and kept me and baby healthy. However, when the night nurse came in she said I had to wait an hour to push since I had a pinched nerve (so bad) in my back. I didn't let that happen though. I sent Adam back out of the room to tell the nurse I wanted to push right then and there because the pressure was so intense. Him and the nurse came back into the room and she had me do a test push to make sure I really was ready. I was. She prepped me on what to do and we started. Adam on my right side, the nurse on my left, and nobody else in the room just because we have so much family I wanted it to be more intimate and not hurt anyone's feelings, etc. Each time my contractions peaked, the pressure got stronger and that's when she had me grab the backs of my knees, using both her and Adam to support the weight of my dead/numb legs, and push. It took about an hour and a half (compared to the 3 hours most first time moms take, I might add) and once I crowned, the doctor came in, commented on the crazy amount of hair our baby had and within minutes, her head then full body were out and Adam was cutting the umbilical cord.

Once everything was settled a little more, the nurse brought me a sandwich and the most amazing juice cocktail I have ever had. It was literally just a giant cup of cranberry juice and ginger ale with a ton of ice but it was definitely all I needed after labor. hah.

Craziest experience of my LIFE. It felt incredible. Harper Eve Gutierrez was born at 8:50 pm on 9/9/2014. She was 19.5 inches long and weighed 8 lbs 2 oz. She has the longest fingers and toes which she inherited from me. :) 

 

Harper is the most amazing blessing we could ever ask for and we thank God everyday for making our dreams come true.